I feel like deleting my blog right now; but hey, one day I might find it again after years of ignoring it, read the contents, and laugh. Laugh till I die. Then I would never have to worry about dumb blogs ever again.
~ Guess who I’ve pissed off recently~
Before I continue I would like to remind you, the reader, that I am an absolutely horrible person and an even worse friend. And I am not changing.
I self-sabotage all my relationships and friendships and I think the underlying cause of all this is that I think I am not worthy of having friends. Or I think I’m too proud and just don’t appreciate them enough. Pick one.
I actually don’t mind losing friends, it’s something I decided a long time ago. That I don’t need them and that people are easily replaceable. Also I hate people and it is emotionally draining for me to actually, like, talk to strangers and then proceed to “build” a friendship.
I’d love to categorize myself as having social anxiety unfortunately my mother and people around me in general would just brush it off as being antisocial, even though I seem to have most of the symptoms of a person suffering from the fear/discomfort of socializing.
Probably won’t publish this but I need to vent out my sadness and emptiness and perhaps if I fill myself up with disgust and cringe-worthy posts it’ll get rid of the emptiness inside.
It is so hard knowing that there are people out there who enjoy and appreciate the things you do but live on the other side of the planet, and knowing that these people exist but being too afraid of looking for them and too afraid of wasting time with the wrong people just make things worse.
I really don’t see the point in knowing people in real life anymore. It’s not like we live in a time where having friends in faraway places is an impossible thing. Humans have come so far from back when we were, well, whatever we were. I’m just really upset right now.
It’s like I can’t even post my opinions on the internet anymore. The whole point of posting opinions on the internet is to rant and vent your frustrations knowing that there might possibly be people who agree with you, and if there are, you can join a group chat and bitch about the thing you hate together! Which is great.
I am not a respectful person, I am a rude twat who complains and hates on everything. In fact, I’d go so far as to say I enjoy being a twat because being rude is bEING MYSELF.
I HATE SUCCUMBING TO PEER PRESSURE. I HATE THE OUTDOORS. I FIND OVEREXERTING YOUR BODY POINTLESS. I AM NOT AN ARTSY FART. I DON’T ENJOY THE GUILT THAT COMES WITH FEELING OBLIGATED TO DO SOMETHING FOR SOMEONE; AND I STRONGLY BELIEVE THAT I SHOULD SAY NO TO WHATEVER WHENEVER I DAMN WELL FEEL LIKE IT, REGARDLESS OF WHAT PEOPLE MIGHT THINK.
I LOVE MOVIES. I ENJOY LISTENING TO FILM SCORES AND SOUNDTRACKS. I THOROUGHLY LOVE THE FEELING OF BEING ABSORBED IN A BOOK. MINIMALIST ART IS THE ONLY KIND I ENJOY. I THINK CONQUERING MOUNTAINS AND SHIT IS WEIRD. AND THERE IS NOTHING IN THE WORLD I APPRECIATE MORE THAN SOLITUDE AND PRIVACY.
I think I just wrote the most accurate About Me in the history of my life. Whoop dee doo.